


The Amazing Adventures of Internet Gay Besties

by tomlindaddy



Category: One Direction
Genre: Amazing, Daddy Kink, Fluff, Internet friendship, Kinda, M/M, No Smut, Power Couple, Thanks, and kys, at least not yet, but pls, daddy hold me, dont think i write ever, i do not w r ite, i say mean words too, im sad about that, it's kinda cute, it's more of a humor fic, no real relationship, offensive!louisandharry, pls i say dyke and faggot i think, pls im serious, pretty much this isn't even serious, relationship better than yours and it's only a friendship, so if ur offended pls kys, so like yea, so many people wont read it probably, so please laugh, theres no daddy kink sadly, they're quite the assholes i promise, this is really kind of dumb, this isn't serious at all i am not a writer, um i'm not sure what else to put, well maybe just a tiny bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 13:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomlindaddy/pseuds/tomlindaddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After typing out a quick "kys" Harry opens his instagram and double taps a picture of himself flashing Louis last night on facetime with the caption, "honey buns showin off them titties for daddy" </p><p>AKA </p><p>Basically our two favorite hoes aren't in the band :( They never were either, they're miley cyrus/zialliam stans<br/>But they have cyrus users bc u know how gay boys on twitter be thinkin she god and light (bc she is but u know gotta verify)<br/>They're mainly zialliam stans but still just don't be confused by the cyrus users thank u<br/>BTW gotta keep it semi realistic so Harry has like 22K while louis has like 13k xD aMazing ICONIC saved me forever</p><p>also this is basically based off of me n one of my very long term internet best friend's relationship i don't think uptight larry acts like us at all n ik she aint gna see this but lov u rave <3</p><p>also ziam is kinda real in this fic :/ i dnt evn ship ziam </p><p>huge thank u to bae bae kiera who gve me the push to do this <3 #jayleanor</p><p>((HUGE BTW! this fic is written by queen of nothing @tomlindaddy))</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Amazing Adventures of Internet Gay Besties

**Author's Note:**

> ok so here is me clearly somethings for you omglol
> 
> bolded text - twitter 
> 
> italics - texting / IMing whatever you fuckin want (also they are used for like;; implied convos//?? u'll understand l8r
> 
> nd you'll pretty much understand the phone calls/skype calls if you don't ur a fuckin idiot 
> 
> BTW this is like a friendship fic they don't really get together here maybe i'll write a second part if it's worth it but whatvr 
> 
> this is basically all humor so kys if u don't laugh at least once

**loucifer @fuckasscyrus: @shankmeharry ur header doesn't fuckin match ur icon yet you want to be in a mutual w me**

**styleshitstain @cyrusly: @fuckasscyrus ok fuckasscyrus keep talking with that user than looks like it's been pulled out of a fucked ass x :)**

March 11th, 2013: Louis Tomlinson follows Harry Styles on twitter after having a three hour long discussion on how ugly the other's account is. It's love at first tweet, really. 

 

* * *

Harry's been studying for the past three hours, and he's been pretty proud of himself for only opening his interactions tab twice. The third time arround, a tweet from Louis pops up when he refreshes his page.

**loucifer @fuckasscyrus: @cyrusly text me back you dildo face**

Harry picks up his phone and unlocks his messages, rolling his eyes when he looks down at his message from Louis.

_From: Sugar Booger Babykins: hey can u like my pic on insta ugly - 8:42PM_

After typing out a quick "kys" Harry opens his instagram and double taps a picture of himself flashing Louis last night on facetime with the caption, "honey buns showin off them titties for daddy" 

_To: Sugar Booger Babykins: SCRATCH THAT DON'T KILL YOURSELF I'M GONNA SHIT IN YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH FIRST YOU MOLDY TOED ASSHOLE - 8:43PM_

* * *

_From: Main Bottom Bitch: Good Morning Sunshine! I hope you have an amazing day, because you absolutely deserve it. I love you more than anything!  - 6:32AM_

_From: Main Bottom Bitch: shit louis - 6:32AM_

_From: Main Bottom Bitch: you know that wasn't for you - 6:32AM_

_From: Main Bottom Bitch: that was hella gay don't let anyone know i can be that nice - 6:33AM_

_To: FAKE ASS BITCH: guess what i changed your name in my phone to - 7:02AM_

_  
_The screencap of the conversation gets 500 RTs too, which is amazing, iconic, saved Harry's life.

* * *

 

 

Friday nights are the best, because as per usual neither of the two boys have something to do. So it's all night phone calls filled with dares and talking shit. But of course, they're two gay boys who are drunk on last nights episode of Project Runway All Stars (" _Korto is going to win, you fuckass" "That's why she's in the bottom this week, you clearly need to stan Elena before you embarrass yourself._ "), Miley's hair, American Horror Story ( _"Evan Peters needs to fuck me immediately." "Truest, the lack of males on this damn show might drive people to believing were only watching for Emma Roberts' flat ass_ ") and of course the oh so very popular teen pop boyband, Zialliam, actually to be honest? They just like to talk about their fans more. ( _"Why the fuck is Fiore's icon ziam? She's a Niall girl. Fucking fake stan." "Her and Bry have matching icons now, apparently there a thing." "Ugly cocktease users, they embarrass me."_ ) Harry was just about to grab his phone and dial Louis' number (No, he doesn't know it by heart so stop fucking looking at him like that you piece of shit) when "Honey Babykins Dookie Faced Hoe" is calling him. He only answers to a screaming Louis' not making actual coherent words or even attempting to do so, in hysterics, crying. Definitely. Harry comes to conclusion. But I mean with Louis you never really know he could be masturbating to James Franco again. All that aside, Louis is crying and Harry doesn't know why so he decides to open his 50 billion missed text messages that are all a bit like this. 

From: Kinky Kiera: ur gay boy is freaking out over twitter my whole tl bursted into flames or smthn ovr him nd i had to block him 65 people - 3:24PM

_From: Daddy Daniela: ZaYHnfoflwowe doFUCIKING LFORUISD  - 3:33PM_

_From: Bad Bitch Bryana: ZYANDFOLLOW ENDOLSOSUJSISISI  - 3:33PM_

_From: Het Hillary: my ass itches should i shower - 3:34PM_

_From: Kinky Kiera: apparently gay boy got a follow lmao [that should be me plays whilst i block] -3:34PM_

_From: Faggot Fiore:  ZAHYWNW AERNT ONA  FOLLOWIGN SPREEEAND FOLWLWOLOGGIIEND DLOSUSISIS - 3:34PM_

_From: Gay Gems: did u eat all of the veggie chips? im gonna make ur non sharing ass go get some more if u did  - 3:50PM_

_From: Mommy Mom: why'd u eat all the veggie chips now ur sister is throwing a fit u rascal  - 3:52PM_

_From: Honey Babykins Dookie Faced Hoe: HAIRGFKJIAFAF - 4:07PM_

_From: Honey Babykins Dookie Faced Hoe: AHFUAYRYUFHAHHYAF FFAAFOFLF - 4:07PM_

_From: Honey Babykins Dookie Faced Hoe: FUCKGING FFFAFUCK FZBAYAN  VIJNUFCFIFLOWLED DFOFNITIWN T ER - 4:07PM_

_From: Honey Babykins Dookie Faced Hoe: UGLY EPEICEOF SHIT WHERE A RE YOUF FOFOWH AR EOYU FWHE RE AR EOYU - 4:07PM_

__From: Honey Babykins Dookie Faced Hoe: IMA CLINGNGT YIOU IN CALING YOU 4:08PM_ _

Along with those wonderful messages are screencaps of Zayn following Louis and selfies of Louis crying his eyes out with a knife to his neck. Harry drops his phone in excitement and hears Louis crying while he screams to tell his older sister (who punches him in the arm three times for eating all of the damn veggie chips, that little shit)

* * *

Summer hits, and the best friends are still the bestest of friends. Except Harry's made a new mutual, and Louis absolutely despises him. He flirts with him, acts too much like Louis himself and wants to slaughter him alive. Once, when Louis tries to facetime Harry on a friday night and Harry texts, " _soz babe, fting with nicky :(_ " 

Like who the literal fuck is Nicky. What kind of fucking atrocious unoriginal disgusting ass nickname is Nicky. Like I'm pretty sure that's a dog's name, and it fits well because nick is a little BITCH. 

All Louis does that friday night is indirect, block Nick over and over again and watch last night's episode of Project Runway: All Stars. And Ha, Korto wins and Louis doesn't have his Harry here to rub it in his fucking shit filled face. 

Louis is pretty close to jumping out of his window with his 2009 Justin Bieber Tshirt on so before he does, he texts Harry to let him know he won't be livetweeting his suicide, but he'll livetexting it to him.

_To: Shitface: I hate you i hope you die_

_To: Shitface: nasty shit hope die_

_From: Shitface: thanks for your good wishes babe, i love you too_

_To: Shitface: i'm killing myself you and nick are the reason_

_To: Shitface: actually his icon is_

_To: Shitface: like that's not even a picture of niall it's fake_

_To: Shitface: fake stan can't tell the difference_

_To: Shitface: and so is his fucking user like what the fuck is niallwhoran_

_From: Shitface: wow amazing fuckasscyrus_

_From: Shitface: why do you hate nick so much? did he still your prada? poor kiddo snuffle wuffle kins :(_

Louis just responds with a screencap of his phone, reporting Harry's shitty account, with a text along with it,

_To: Shitface: fuck you, you know i'm a prada baby_

And if Louis changes his user that night to zaynus, it's not because Harry made fun of his user and defended that piece of shit Nick.

* * *

**Loutus Flower @zaynus: my heart misses @cyrusly :( too bad his bitch ass is blocked forever lmao haha**

**Princess @watercolorzayn: "@zaynus: my heart misses @cyrusly :( too bad his bitch ass is blocked forever lmao haha"**

**Queen: @zaynus @watercolorzayn hillary quote this and tell louis he's stunning so hard when he knows he texted me this morning**

**Princess @watercolorzayn: "** **@cyrusly: @watercolorzayn @zaynus hillary quote this and tell louis he's stunning so hard when he knows he texted me this morning** "

Louis unblocks Harry, tweets, **"cunts with ugly brown hair make me suicidal"** with a roll of his eyes and calls him later that night to discuss how much he dislikes the color of his hair. 

* * *

By the tme anyone has realized, pop boyband zialliam have had a pretty damn successful year. It's December 15th, and they're done some amazing things this year. Like annoy the shit out of Harry with this new album that sounds like they tried so hard to get eyeliner in their hands but only ended up with black crayons giving their new punk sound make them sound like punk asses, to be honest. Louis likes the change, though he's been a long fan and he's really just trying so hard to find a reason not to unstan this musty ass band. Besides the band's uneeded success, there's something happening on the 19th of December and if Louis deactivates because of it, so fucking be it.

Harry is metting Nick, Nick before he's meeting Louis. Nick is going to get to hug him, and laugh with him and poke his dimples and throw things at him and do things with him Louis just can't because Louis lives all the way in New york, and Harry lives all the way in buttfuck California. Tragedy. Anyway, back to the fact that 2 headed scum is going to meet Harry. It's all Harry's been talking about recently and Louis wants to kill himself every single time he reads the word gryles. Like excuse me while I buy cream to put over that fucking infection sounding ship name.

Best part of it all? 

Nick ships niam. 

Louis isn't sure why his mother didn't abort him. 

* * *

It turns out, magically, like there's some fucking God or something, after Harry meets Nick, they stop talking about each other so much and they actually get on with their lives and Harry talks to Louis every breath he takes, and Nick is dating some other kid named shaun, like, " **awesome you moved on thank god you're not touching my best friend anymore you fucking piece of shit** " louis indirects as Harry tells him the news via skype. 

"Amazing. Saved my life, really." Louis says, as he goes through this shaun kid's profile. ziamsweater. There have been cuter users, but it's okay. He goes through his pictures and finds a selfie of him biting his shirt, looking like an absolutely fucking idiot. Louis laughs so hard he goes red, and when he shows Harry, he's incredibly disappointed by the, 'Awwww." That comes out of his mouth. Fucking softie, he is.

* * *

_From: Musty Manda: are you and louis dating - 7:55PM_

_To: Musty Manda: no why - 8:02PM_

_From: Musty Manda: i was just askin u seem like u are #larry - 8:04PM_

_To: Musty Manda: smh louis knows i have him a leash - 8:05PM_

_To: Musty Manda: don't hashtag over texts u piece of shit - 8:05PM_

_From: Musty Manda: lmao we all thts a joke u need to please bottom - 8:05PM_

_To: Musty Manda: let's pretend i'm forcing louis to keep me as his #1 forever - 8:05PM_

_From: Musty Manda: u dont have to force him to do anything - 8:10PM_

* * *

_From: Het Hillary: i miss u - 10:00PM_

_To: Het Hillary: as much as zayn misses tessa? aw! babes! - 10:02PM_

_From: Het Hillary: harry why do you hate me - 10:03PM_

_To: Het Hillary: I don't! I love you as much as zayn loves tessa! #zessaforever - 10:04PM_

Harry sends the screencap to Louis and screams in laughter when he gets a reply, 

_From: My babypoo sugarplum: why is she speaking to you who took the muzzle off her golden retriever ass - 10:07PM_

* * *

March 11th, 2014, it's Larry's anniversary, and they make sure everyone knows about it. Making both of their display names have been a countdown to the day, changing their users to @4x11 and @LarryStylinson. But when the day comes around, everyone's heart eyes ooze out of the heads. Because god dammit, could these ugly mother fuckers be any more cuter? Like seriously, who knew they had hearts? 

**HARRY ♥ LOUIS @4x11: @LarryStylinson happy anniversary babykins sugar pie baby boo lovely bear dookie head skank ass dyke head must block x :) twitpic.plskmsthisisntreal**

**LOUIS ♥ HARRY @LarryStylinson: @4x11 happy anniversary, you big headed, dimple crusted lard of shit xxxxxxxxxxx twitpic.plsthisisevenfaker**

Harry's picture looks a little bit like this.

Dear Louis,

happy anniversary, boobear! you know i love you more than anything, you little starling sunshine you. you know louis, within the past year i've realized that i love you more than i love anything else, really. more than i love myself (holy shit that's like a fucking honor you piece of shit be fucking PROUD of that shit) and really, you make my day. with the skypes, the facetiming, the texts, the calls, the every day contact is honestly just something i don't think i'm ever going to be able to live without. you're my best friend louis, and i don't care if you live three billion miles away, because you'll always be the bestest friend i've ever had in my entire life and i could never thank you for some of the amazing experiences you've let me be apart of with you. i'll always be so thankful for you, and so thankful you stuck around to be with such a fucking rude person like i am, even though this letter clearly proves that i have a huge soft side. whatever, besides that point, louis i love you. you've been talking to me everyday for twelve months since march 11th, 2013. cheers to another year, yeah? now please don't let this letter go to your head i still fucking hate you ever day of the year besides this day, and your birthday. i love you stupid add. 

your harry.

Well Louis' picture? Well, Louis' picture looks like a ticket from New York to California. And if Harry facetimes Louis that night with tears streaming down his face, Louis definitely screencaps and posts it on Twitter. 

* * *

On the morning of June 2nd, 2014, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson officially meet at an Airport in the middle of God knows where. Harry jumps into Louis' arms and clings to him like a koala, and Louis holds back so tighly Harry complains that he's crushing him. He probably is, but, " _who fucking cares Harry you're literally in my arms right now you ugly ass son of a bitch like can you be cute for a god damn second."_

And because of the fact neither of them can breathe or function properlly without checking twitter ever other second, the day they meet just happens to be the same day Ziam decides to come out of the closet, with a picture of two kissing posted to Liam's twitter. 

After Louis starts breathing again, Harry stops crying and screaming and shouting and throwing things around his room, Harry is finally able to make a tweet that people are able to read.

**I MET MY LOUBEAR @cyrusly: @JustSonia SUCK MY FUCKING COCK BITCH BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SUCK ZAYNS**

* * *

Fin. x 

**Author's Note:**

> omg lmao this pretty much includes a lot of people i know (wish i knew) aka my darling angels on twitter.  
> huge thank you to the following people, who let me use their names in this really short story haha bless.
> 
> hiiii
> 
> daniela - @twinkharry  
> bry - @cockteaseharry  
> fiore - @cockteaseharry  
> shaun - @lourrysweater  
> lydia - @niallwhoran  
> manda - @yestoleeds  
> hillary - @watercolorharry  
> kiera - @steezbag  
> sonia - @sweaterlarry
> 
> kudos if you want a part where they actually get together? amazing pls


End file.
